If, like most people, you have a busy life, you no doubt spend a lot of your time getting things done and ticking them off your to-do list, before immediately rushing onto the next thing.
It can seem difficult, and you may even consider it unproductive, given that there’s still so much more to get done, to take time out to pause and reflect on what you’ve achieved.
From an evolutionary perspective, we are programmed to focus more on the negatives in life, our failures, rather than our successes. We may, therefore, forget to celebrate and feel good about the things we did achieve and what has gone well.
The result of this, is that we can feel rather despondent and beat ourselves up because we haven’t achieved all that we set out to do, because our year hasn’t been “perfect”. This way of thinking is, quite frankly, rather unhelpful for our well-being, growth and future success.
This natural tendency is great for keeping us safe but it doesn’t give us a balanced view of our lives, nor does it allow us to feel happy and fulfilled. We can start to lose perspective, our sense of direction and creativity, as we find ourselves living from a place of fear and anxiety, rather than from a place of joyfulness, ease and confidence.
As we approach the end of the year, hopefully, things have slowed down a bit for you. So, before you rush into your 2020 planning and goal-setting, I encourage you to invest some time reflecting back objectively over the past 12 months. Consider both the highs and the lows, plus the lessons you have learned along the way, which have contributed to your growth.
If it’s actually been a pretty rubbish year for you (and we all have them), simply be kind to yourself, knowing it’s OK to feel sadness or disappointment. And just maybe, whilst acknowledging and accepting all that has happened, you may also recall some smaller moments of achievement and joy, for which you are grateful.
Here’s a three-part End-of-Year Review exercise which you might like to try. It will set you up much more positively for your 2020 goal planning.
End-of-Year Review Exercise
I like to structure my reflections around my 3 pillars for happiness, well-being and fulfilment, the 3Ps of Performance, Purpose and Peace.
Part 1 – Reflections on 2019
Take some time to reflect on the following questions:
Performance:
- What successes or partial successes have I had, which I can celebrate?
- What could have gone better? Where did I not achieve what I wanted?
- What stopped me? How did I contribute to this? What’s my internal narrative? (the things I say to myself which limit me or hold me back?)
Purpose:
- What gave me a sense of meaning and fulfilment this year?
- Remembering what really matters to me, did I engage in this fully?
- What did I start that excites me, which I want to continue next year?
Peace:
- Who or what am I most grateful for from this year? (Try listing 12 things or more)
- What were the greatest supports and challenges to me living with peace and ease?
- What would it serve me to let go of and leave in 2019?
Celebrating our achievements and what we feel grateful for, helps us to feel more positive about the year and counters our natural negativity bias.
Part 2 – What did you learn?
Now it’s time to hold up the mirror to ourselves! To reflect and bring into our conscious awareness, an understanding of what contributed to, as well as what hindered, our success. Once we are able to see things clearly, we can do more of what works and change what doesn’t.
This will enable you to grow, develop and boost your success in 2020.
Reflecting on your answers from Part 1, now consider:
- What did I learn? Particularly, what did I learn about myself?
- What lessons do I still need to learn?
- What strengths did I call upon which contributed to my achievements?
- What ways of thinking supported or got in the way of my achievements in 2019?
- What words describe how I was as a person this year – my way of being?
- What words reflect the person and the way I want to be in 2020?
Part 3 – What do you want to remember as you move into 2020?
Finally, what from your reflections above do you want to remember as you move into your 2020 planning. You can use the faithful old Stop, Start and Continue model, to capture your thoughts on this.
| STOP What do you want to stop doing or do less of/what ways of being do you want to engage in less or stop? | START What do you want to start doing more of/how do you want to start being? | CONTINUE What ways of acting and being currently serve you well, which you would like to continue? | |
| Performance | |||
| Purpose | |||
| Peace |
Having celebrated, accepted and learned from 2019, you are now in a great place to step forward positively and purposefully into the new year.
I’d like to wish you a 2020 filled with happiness, success and fulfilment.
